forgiveness – Nicole Elissa

Today Would Have Been My Father’s 58th Birthday And I Choose To Celebrate Our Relationship.

I Am Sharing The Four Mindset Shifts That Have Helped Me Tremendously To Understand Love And Show Up For Relationships That Supports Growth.

My Relationship with my dad has been my biggest container for growth over the last four years, and yes I do mean after he passed away. My Father was a man of a small amount of words but his actions spoke louder than words. This was a hard concept for me to understand while growing up because I LOVE Talking and getting excited over the smallest details. I admire him without question, I’ve always wanted to grow up like him: Level-headed, super responsible and audacious. He always wanted what was best for me, we wouldn’t see eye to eye on a few areas but he always listened to what I had to say and we would reach a middle ground always.

This is what I’ve learned about relationships, they are our greatest containers for growth, mainly because we have all been raised in a different way and we have different ways we express and showcase our love for each other.

These are my four tips on how to heal your relationships:

Recognise what is your love language. How do you show your appreciation and love for the people you care most in your life? It might be through words, actions or contact. Ponder this for a moment. This will give you greater clarity on your preference. Also, think of the ways you enjoy to receive affection from others and if there is a discrepancy there.

Think of the person you would like to heal your relationship with. How have you shown them your appreciation and set up the environment to talk with them and ask them what’s their love language. You might be surprised by what you find out. Truly listen to what they have to say and then tell them what is yours. Reach to an agreement.

Love is a two way street and an inside job: Let people love you to their best capability. Love isn’t judgemental or a way to get your needs met. Even if we are talking about a romantic relationship, this person would be a partner, not the answer to your problems. Always know that you are responsible for your own happiness.

Be open to guidance after you’ve been emotionally triggered and take action. If this person does something that brings up an unwanted feeling in you, learn to forgive and let go. These triggers are perceptions you were called to heal from your past. It could be that you feel you are not good enough or that you don’t belong, etc. You would be forgiving this person in particular and the one who you perceived this fake reality from. After you do this, create a new mantra for yourself that reinforces the positive contrast of the negative feeling trigger.

Hope this helps. Today, I no longer hold anyone responsible for my happiness. I am immensely grateful for the love my dad had to offer and all the growth I have gotten from his teachings and insights. Happy Birthday in heaven, dad! Love you to the moon and back. <3

If you desire to feel at peace, confident, regain your personal power back to create the most beautiful relationships ever and heal any negative perceptions that you may have about being good enough, contact me at www.nicoleelissa.com/clarity-call

This is a free of charge call were we talk how we can work together burst through any block to ensure you create a live you love and don’t recreate anything from your past that you don’t want to. Sign up here www.nicoleelissa.com/clarity-call

Loads of love,

A guide on how to love yourself fully and release all blame.

All my life I grew up with the belief that love was recognition, validation and approval of who I was by others. This started with my parents. I felt like I was to blame for a lot of situations since I was very little. Key words: I felt.

It had a huge impact on my view on love while I was growing up. Looking at everything that has happened in my life, I’ve come to realize how every encounter has been a call for love, as Marianne Williamson says.

I’ve grown from a place of not taking care of myself, projecting neediness unto others because surely they were responsible for my happiness. Being in a relationship would solve the validation and love I felt I was lacking since I was a little girl.

I am really grateful for parents and everything they’ve taught me and I know how much they love me. I just perceived certain situations as a kid that magnified the idea that love was outside of me.

Thinking like this only led me to repeat the same story over and over again, creating a pattern that increased exponentially when my dad passed away suddenly.

Since then, the universe’s love has been so amazing that it has helped me become extremely self-aware on how to heal my relationship with myself. Allowing me to stop co creating based on known and hidden fears, release the urge to control others and simply show up for love in ways that I never thought were possible before.

I am grateful this journey that started by being allowing twists and turns, laughing and enjoying my way through it all, because we are always guided to our highest purpose.

Today, I decide to share how I did it and continue to do so, I hope this helps you get there too:

Be open to be vulnerable: Looking within can be scary, terrifying even for some and that is completely understandable but we must be willing to look at our ego and see how it is trying to trick us to believe that we are not good enough or better vice-versa. Our ego is based on fear. Analyze if what we have been co creating up until this point in our lives comes from fear. If it is, we must understand that if we do not make the decision to move on from this stage, we must take ownership of what will continue to show up in our life. So I say, looking within can be scary but ultimately, it will save us.

Eliminate all judgment: In a few words, what we resist, persists. It is so easy for our ego to blame others and especially ourselves for everything that we have seen unfold so far that supports the idea that we are not good enough or on the contrary, better than others to fulfill a certain dream. When in reality, we are all reflections of each other. Become an observer, release attack thoughts. Let’s be in the energy that says we are ready for a more expansive experience that supports us and not an energy that indicates the contrary.

Forgive and let go: Forgive who hurt us and forgive ourselves for not recognizing our value up until this point. Forgiveness is a call to raise our frequency to love and take responsibility for what is coming next. If we are not forgiving, there is a good chance that we are still holding judgment and as I stated above: what we resist, persists. We don’t want that. Letting go means that we cannot change outside forces. It means that we are responsible for our own happiness. We are releasing everyone to be who they are meant to be and not trying to force them to feed our needs.

True love is an inside job: Releasing judgment, allows us to go from victim to hero in seconds. We realize that is truly up to us how we show up in the world. It allows us to come from a place of compassion for others and for ourselves. This allows us to be truly authentic and never place our value on somebody else’s hands. Move from a mindset of giving rather than having. Be the love that you want to experience.

How? Practicing self-care, be more understanding of our needs and desires, nurture our inner child with new positive and empowering thoughts that are aligned with our highest truth and have fun during the process!

Incorporate these points to your life and get ready for major positive shifts. We’ll break free from old patterns and start creating from a place of love.

Tag: forgiveness

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Let go of your fears and show up for LOVE like you never have before!

A guide on how to love yourself fully and release all blame.