A guide on how to love yourself fully and release all blame.
All my life I grew up with the belief that love was recognition, validation and approval of who I was by others. This started with my parents. I felt like I was to blame for a lot of situations since I was very little. Key words: I felt.
It had a huge impact on my view on love while I was growing up. Looking at everything that has happened in my life, I’ve come to realize how every encounter has been a call for love, as Marianne Williamson says.
I’ve grown from a place of not taking care of myself, projecting neediness unto others because surely they were responsible for my happiness. Being in a relationship would solve the validation and love I felt I was lacking since I was a little girl.
I am really grateful for parents and everything they’ve taught me and I know how much they love me. I just perceived certain situations as a kid that magnified the idea that love was outside of me.
Thinking like this only led me to repeat the same story over and over again, creating a pattern that increased exponentially when my dad passed away suddenly.
Since then, the universe’s love has been so amazing that it has helped me become extremely self-aware on how to heal my relationship with myself. Allowing me to stop co creating based on known and hidden fears, release the urge to control others and simply show up for love in ways that I never thought were possible before.
I am grateful this journey that started by being allowing twists and turns, laughing and enjoying my way through it all, because we are always guided to our highest purpose.
Today, I decide to share how I did it and continue to do so, I hope this helps you get there too:
- Be open to be vulnerable: Looking within can be scary, terrifying even for some and that is completely understandable but we must be willing to look at our ego and see how it is trying to trick us to believe that we are not good enough or better vice-versa. Our ego is based on fear. Analyze if what we have been co creating up until this point in our lives comes from fear. If it is, we must understand that if we do not make the decision to move on from this stage, we must take ownership of what will continue to show up in our life. So I say, looking within can be scary but ultimately, it will save us.
- Eliminate all judgment: In a few words, what we resist, persists. It is so easy for our ego to blame others and especially ourselves for everything that we have seen unfold so far that supports the idea that we are not good enough or on the contrary, better than others to fulfill a certain dream. When in reality, we are all reflections of each other. Become an observer, release attack thoughts. Let’s be in the energy that says we are ready for a more expansive experience that supports us and not an energy that indicates the contrary.
- Forgive and let go: Forgive who hurt us and forgive ourselves for not recognizing our value up until this point. Forgiveness is a call to raise our frequency to love and take responsibility for what is coming next. If we are not forgiving, there is a good chance that we are still holding judgment and as I stated above: what we resist, persists. We don’t want that. Letting go means that we cannot change outside forces. It means that we are responsible for our own happiness. We are releasing everyone to be who they are meant to be and not trying to force them to feed our needs.
- True love is an inside job: Releasing judgment, allows us to go from victim to hero in seconds. We realize that is truly up to us how we show up in the world. It allows us to come from a place of compassion for others and for ourselves. This allows us to be truly authentic and never place our value on somebody else’s hands. Move from a mindset of giving rather than having. Be the love that you want to experience.
How? Practicing self-care, be more understanding of our needs and desires, nurture our inner child with new positive and empowering thoughts that are aligned with our highest truth and have fun during the process!
Incorporate these points to your life and get ready for major positive shifts. We’ll break free from old patterns and start creating from a place of love.